October 1st, 2007 by claret23

I was lost in the dark

gasping my breath

unseen by no one

felt by none

 

Ive been there in the night

wrapped up in a quilt of snow

chasing my spirit

dwells in confusion, fear and aloneness

 

I saw your indistinct face out of the dark

like a smoke raisd in a clouded sky

there you reached for my hand

warmed my night with your own breath

 

you put me out of the hive

uncovered my heart and soul

put a sunniest hours on my days

where happiness is unknown

 

but like a beautiful dream at night

that was never meant to last

sometimes we find someone in the darkness

and in darkness, we lost them there again

 

as I roam once more to this wilderness

Ill keep a secret in my heart, forvever

a stranger in my life,

that hold me closed during my darkest night. . . .

punyal

July 29th, 2007 by claret23

Kailan ka ba titigil?

di’ mo ba naririnig?

sumisigaw na ako.

Kailan ka ba mapapagod?

di mo ba nakikita?

duguan na ako.

 

kailan mo ba hahawiin?

ang tabing na bumabalot sa dilim.

Kailan mo ba ihahain?

ang katotohanang

sabik ng madampian ng mga labi.

 

Kailan ka ba lalabas?

sa aninong pinagkukublihan

Kailan mo ba huhubaran

ang kasinungaling

pilit mong tinatakpan.

 

Hayaan mong marinig ko

ang nakabibinging tunog

kung kasunod nito ay

walang hanggang katahimikan.

 

Hayaan mong maghilom

ang sugat na laging naroon

at bumitiw sa pagkakahawak

sa isang huwad na pag-asa.

 

Hugutin mo ang punyal

na lumalagot sa bawat paghinga

hayaan mong dumaloy ang hapdi at kirot

kung ito’y hudyat ng panibagong simula.

 

persona

June 26th, 2007 by claret23

she found herself in a closed room

wrapped by mirror all over the wall

as she glance with wonder upon the place

she saw  her face over the mirror

a face in a mask

the mask reacts around the echoes

changes with its environments demand

it struggles, transform, mimic

to fit on the crowd, be not rejected

to be protected and be safe.

there was a sunny mask

that always projects a smile and laugh

a calm and bold mask

that see no fear and grief

mask that leaves behind what is true

as the mask starts to fall on her face

she saw an image she can’t hardly recognize

a face broken by the strain,

pain, loneliness, aloneness, fear

safe and hidden behind that mask.

she wanted to take-off the mask

free herself from pretensions and dishonesty

scream all her feelings that she disguised

be herself and let it be

but she can’t..she won’t..

so still she hide what lies behind

and fight again the very thing that she cry-out

lovelorn, wounded and bleeding

Latent, Id, Vacillation

she wears a mask.

Breaking up>>>>>

February 28th, 2007 by claret23

I’m walking on this street again.. Holding the hand of the person that I once knew.. I’m traveling this same old street again, that always wears a dark and grimy clothes. As the wind strike belligerently all over me I felt the piercing chill inside of me..and at that moment I WANTED YOU TO HOLD ME, FEEL ME, BREATH ME , BREAK ME.. but words within me remain unspoken and withrawn..

Suddenly your voice meddles to my thought “I’m hurting”. You whispered in a sullen tone. I stopped, turn around and look at you.. that was the time I saw you crying, aching, breaking. JUST THEN I WANTED TO WIPE YOUR TEARS, TOUCH YOU, LOCK YOU IN MY ARMS AND NEVER LET go BUT I CAN’T.. YOU KNOW I WONT.. So I remain distant and still, calm and cold,.

You smiled acrimoniously and said,“You made me believed that you love me.."And then there was silence.. BUT INSIDE I’M DYING..THE PAIN IS KILLING ME LIKE A KNIFE STABBING ME BONE-BY-BONE…AND I BLEED..

Sadness flare upon your face, your eyes set-off the last drop of your tears and slowly, gently you released my hand that hangs around your hand and touched my face maybe for the very last time..then walked away without looking back..

Now here I am alone, alone in this mournful street. but the thing is.. I HAVE LOVED YOU..ON MY OWN..but YOU DID’NT HEAR ME, YOU DID’NT SEE ME, YOU DID’NT REACH OUT, SUBMERGE WITHIN DEEP ENOUGH TO LOOK AT ME DIFFERENTLY FAR FROM OTHERS..

NOW TIME WASHED-OUT THE BURNING FIRE INTO COLD FREEZING JUNCTURE… I CREATED A WALL AROUND ME NOT TO FORBID ANYONE TO SEE MY INNERSELF BUT FOR ME TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO WILL LOVE ME ENOUGH TO BE A STEEL THAT CAN CRACK THE SHELL THAT WRAPPED AROUND ME..

I’m walking on this street again. And maybe in another time I will find myself walking on this street again. BUT I HOPE SOMEDAY THE PERSON WILL BE WALKING RIGHT NEXT TO ME IS THE MAN OF STEEL, WHO CAN SEE ME, HOLD ME,FEEL ME, BREATH ME.BREAK ME,..

EVERYBODY’S CHANGING

November 15th, 2006 by claret23

yOU SAY you WONDER your owN LAND
but when i THINK ABOUT IT i don’t see how YOU caN
you’re ACHING, you’re BREAKING
and I cAN seE THE PaiN IN your EYES
SAys EveRYbody’s CHaNGIng ANd I dont KNOw whY

SO Little TIME
try TO unDERStand
trying To MAKE a MOVE to STAY in the GAME
I try TO stay AWake aND remembeR my NAME
BUT everyBODY’s CHANGing ANd I don’t FEEl thE Same

you’RE gone FROM here
AND soon YOU wilL disSApeAR

Cause EVryBOdy’S changinG
anD i DON’T feLl riGHt……………….

lihim…..

July 10th, 2006 by claret23

naglalakad sa isang kalye
palingalinga at mababagal ang hakbang
wala naman hinahanap na partikular
pamilyar lamang ang lugar
maging ang mga taong nakakaharap

huminto…
napatigil sa paglalakad
nakuha ang atensyon ng isang napakalaking pintuan,.
na mayroon iba’t-ibang dekorasyon at kulay
ngunit pinangingibabawan ng mga kulay puti,pula at itim.

nagmasid…
sa di’ mabilang na mga taong naglalabas-pasok
maingay,magulo,kalat
ang iba ay naguunahan at nagtutulakan
ang ilan naman ay nanunubok lamang

may ibang pumasok na malungkot
paglabas ay nakangiti na at masaya
mayroon naman pumasok na masaya
at punong-puno ng pananabik
ngunit paglabas ay malungkot at may luha

ang ilan ay makikitaan ng galit sa mga mata
mayroon naman na tila walang pakialam
tuwa,galit,takot,pagkabahala,pag-asa..
iba’t-ibang emosyon,sari-aring reaksyon
iba’t-ibang mukha,sarisaring tao

dumilim ang kalangitan. . .
babala ng isang malakas na ulan
umihip ang malamig na hangin
na sumusugat sa buto at kalamnan
nanunuot sa kalooblooban.

nagkagulo..
mabilis nag-takbuhan palabas ang mga tao
nagtulakan,nag-apakan
di alintana kung may masaktan
o may masugatan man

nanginig sa lamig. . .
mga paa’y gusto ng sumuko mula sa mahabang paglalakbay
humakbang papalapit sa malaking pituan
na ngayo’y inabanduna
ng mga taong kanina lamang ay dumagsa

sumilip,.
nag-aalinlangan,.
sa huli ay pumasok na rin,paloob…
nakabibingi ang katahimikan
nakasasakal ang kapaligirang walang laman

natanaw ang isang salamin
kung saan nakalatag ang repleksyon ng kabuuan ng lugar
maging ang lihim na sa kanya ay bumabalot
isang pusong
niluma,piniraso,binutas,sinugatan..

nakaramdam ng kirot
nakiramdam sa pinanggagalingan ng sakit
yumuko
nakita ang kamisetang duguan
na itinatago ang dibdib na butas…

“A still small voice”

October 25th, 2005 by claret23

Time can pass…
Time can pass like a cold honey in the spoon.
It can pass like a day before a day awaited.
It can pass like bad days after good.
It can pass with success and fine things to fill the days-but no things may fill the night. Perhaps that’s what it is to be grown. It is to look at a toy-whether it be a book or poems or a picture in a frame-and to feel no inner joy that may distract one from all the aloneness. No marionette makes company.
So time can pass.
Eyes can grow big. Eyes can narroew. All in darkness. Voices we know may whisper to us in sleep. Perhaps we do not recognize them, but we feel them as we feel a held hand. Or we may feel what it is to feel a hand of dropped.
Thus, time passes.
And I mean not to paint a sad picture, for I was not sad. My days were filled and bright. My friends were many. Yet still, there were days that I wished for night…night..night.. As if it might bring more than just colder air, and bluer world.
And thus, did two years go by…
And I might stand at a window, or sit on the back porch of the big white house, and watch the passenger pigeons roll their way under the clouds- and i would think how scripture says life is but a shadow.. And so life and the people in it sometimes seemed to me-mere shadows. And not shadows of towers or great monuments, but shadows of flying birds. And thus the birds would fly away, leaving niether bird nor sahdow. . .

free…

October 13th, 2005 by claret23

matagal na tayong magkakilala
halos araw-araw pa nga kung magkita
magkaalakbay sa eskwela,
magkababata kumbaga.

madalas mo pa nga akong asarin remember?
ako naman kunwaring naaasar kahit hindi naman
yung bang tamang pa cute lang,
mga asal pambata

pero di’ nagtagal naging kaibigan ka,
ok ka naman pala eh,
naging kasundo, kalaro, kabatak!
kasapakat sa mga kalokohan.

tumakbong mabilis ang panahon
magkasabay nating hinabol ng lakad takbo,
di’ na nga yata ako sanay ng wala ka,
nasanay na kasi ako ng laging nandyan ka.

sa paglipas ng panahon maraming pagbabago
naharap sa bagong mundo, sa mga bagong mukha
mga bagong ka-tropa at pag-ibig
pero ang ikaw at ako ay nandyan pa rin.

lagi pa rin tayong nagkikita,
nagbabalitaan ng kung ano bago at pati na rin ng luma,
hingahan ng sama ng loob ang isa’t-isa,
madalas ikaw sa mga kwento mong pang-star cinema.

ako naman tamang pakinig lang,
dati ko na naman gawain ang makinig sa mga kwentong pag-ibig mo,
pero aray!aray!naku!saan nanggaling yon?
nasasaktan ba ako?kailan pa?
di’ ko alam pero palagay ko matagal na.

ah hindi pwede to!a big no! no! sabi ko,
pagod na ba ako sa pagiging dakilang daimos ng buhay mo,
mahal na ba kita?
iwasan kaya kita?
tama! mabutui pa nga!

umiwas ako, nahalata mo,
ramdam mo kung bakit, alam ko,
pnagbigyan mo ako, nagkanya-kanya tayo
nagmahal ka ng iba at syempre ako rin para fair!

matagal bago ulit tayo nagkita
at ng makita ka muli, akala ko..
akala ko di’ko pa kaya.
akala ko di’ ko pa kayang humarap sayo,
ng di’ na nasasaktan..

naging madalas ulit ang ating pagkikita,
eto na sabi ko! this is it! sasabihin nya na
mangyayari na ang pinakahihintay ko,
at sinabi mo rin nga.pwede na rin kahit medyo panis na.

masaya naman nung simula,
akala ko long lasting eveready na,
akala ko ikaw na nga,
akala ko ikaw na nga ang makapagbibigay ng hinahanap ko.

pero hindi lang pala halaman ang nalalanta,
di’ lamang pala tubig ang lumalamig
do’ lamang pala oras ang lumilipas,
pati love rin pala.

pangarap kasi kita noon,
ang akala ko ikaw pa rin sa ngayon
ngayon  malapit ka na at hawak ko,
bakit gusto na kitang pakawalan at itulak palayo.

pangarap ka pala noon na di’ ko na kayang tuparin ngayon,
pangnagdaan ka pala at di’ pangkasalukuyan
laya na pala ako at matagal ng napaglipsan,
ang pag-ibig kong matagal ng nabigyan ng parol.

pasensya na pare"aking kaibigan"
ganito na talaga ko medyo magulo,
minahal naman kita noon…
pero hindi na sa ngayon.

ngayon kanya-kanya ulit tayo,
mukhang ikaw naman yata ang nakulong,
pero lalaya ka rin alam ko, di’ naman ganon katibay ang rehas mo eh,
at bukas makapaglalaro ulit tayo ng volleyball ng di’ na nagsasakitan pa….